C.A.R.E News & Blog

For many people in midlife, the relationship with a parent remains a source of both love and pain. Those with a history of early trauma or inconsistent caregiving may find themselves emotionally overwhelmed in the presence of a parent, even after decades of personal growth. This often reflects disorganised attachment, a pattern formed when a caregiver was both a source of comfort and fear. The result is an internal conflict: the longing for closeness is met with the expectation of harm. Individuals with this attachment style may find themselves reverting to old emotional patterns, becoming reactive, withdrawn, or hypervigilant during even minor interactions with their parents.

They may feel ashamed for still being affected, but this is not immaturity, it’s unhealed trauma. Healing does not require changing the parent; it requires creating a sense of safety within. Therapy, emotional boundaries, and compassionate relationships can help rewrite the body’s understanding of connection. Most importantly, recognising these patterns without blame can be a powerful act of self-liberation. Disorganised attachment is not a life sentence; it’s a wound that can be understood, grieved, and eventually healed.